Tuesday, June 7, 2016

This week, I sinned. I mean, no surprise there. We all sin a ton every week, even when we are doing our best. But there was a sin that I definitely could have avoided - something very simple that I just needed to remember: Gratitude.

Life sucks sometimes! As you know from probably every post so far, I am struggling pretty bad right now. I am broke, jobless (hopefully just until next week), in pain, always exhausted, and living with my grandparents (which is super fun, but still, I am 21)..... etc, etc... you know all this. And it is easy to get down on myself - wonder why I am not dating, why I have to personally suffer with this, why everything can't just WORK OUT for once. Does this sound familiar at all? It doesn't really matter what life you live, everyone thinks these thoughts at least once in their life.

Well, this week was one of those weeks. Really, it was a great week. Nothing particularly sad about it, or worse than normal. But I kept thinking, why me? What am I supposed to do with my life now?

Then, yesterday, I woke up, feeling alright. The sun was streaming through my window. I was as tired as normal, my back still hurt, and I didn't find a sudden windfall of gold as I got out of bed. But the spirit kept telling me that God was there. I ignored it for a long time, but later that day I saw a small miracle. It would seem a very small thing to others, but to me it made all the difference. It allowed me to have enough money to buy the medication I needed. Wow!

As I got back into the car after buying my medication I felt tears coming. The spirit was right. God was there. He is still watching me, He is aware that I am poor, desperate and hurting. He knows how badly I needed that medication. He knows how ungrateful I have been lately, and he gave me this miracle simply to remind me that He was there and in control.

His hand is in my life! It is in all of ours! So this is my point.... remember to be grateful. I spent much of the day repenting for being so ungrateful to my Father in Heaven, after all He has done for me! The spirit all through yesterday continued to remind me of the small instances in my life RIGHT NOW that God has had His Omnipotent hand in. The ways that He has blessed me -both small and large - should never be forgotten! And how silly I was to forget!

Just a reminder, from someone who was just reminded: God is there. He loves you SO SO MUCH! He is VERY aware of every detail in your life. Heavenly Father cares about even the little things. He doesn't always give us exactly what we want, or what we think we need, but in His infinite wisdom He gives us that which will bless us the most.

So if you are reading this, do me a favor. Stop whatever you are doing, and bow your head for a short moment and give thanks to Our Almighty God for all the He does for you. Be grateful for even the smallest instances in which He moves His hands to bless and help you. And most of all, be grateful for the things that you can't yet see that He has done for you! For I know that there are plenty!

I love my Heavenly Father and I am so so grateful for all the blessings, seen and unseen, that He gives me!

1 comment:

  1. Bengie,
    Someone told me long ago to keep a blessings journal where every day I wrote down what I was thankful for. The positive affirmation that life may not be as horrifying as we perceive it really helps to keep a more positive attitude. Positivity makes it easier to make decisions, makes us feel stronger, and provides personal support. Neck everybody needs support once and a while. With my MS I tend to do better getting a full nights sleep then getting up for 4 to 5 hours, taking a needed nap for a couple of hours then getting up for another 4 to 5 hours. This method splits the day into two sections and time to rest and recharge my battery in between. I also choose things that can help me relax because if I am anxious I tend to tense up without realizing it and that makes me hurt more. Nice smelling candles, quiet, meditation or yoga, hot bath or shower, or Xanax. Yes I occassionally take a prescription drug to help me relax. Valium is another medication.
    Call me chickie! I broke my phone and I've lost contacts.
    Love Aunt Cammie

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