The primary reason for me starting a blog was to help others that were going through difficulties similar to mine. Right now, I struggle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and a herniated disc. These are health problems that have severely changed the way I wanted my life to play out - indeed these health problems have limited in ways I didn't even think about before. But now I know.

Once my mother and I were talking and we discussed how my life was turning out so different from what I had planned. I complained about how limited I was.. how I couldn't do all I wanted to do... how I couldn't live the life of a 21 year old girl. She kindly mentioned that maybe my life was being limited in certain ways so that doors would open for me in other ways.

This is an interesting thought, but one I have clung on to for dear life. I have always LOVED life and wanted to enjoy it to its fullest. I wanted to be successful, beautiful, spiritual, help those in need, have a family, have a career, go to school, etc etc etc. I had SO many plans, and so many goals. Now I am not saying that because of my chronic illness these things won't happen. That's how it felt for a long time, but because of my mother's simple words to me I see things in a different light. The ways that I THOUGHT I would  be successful might not happen. I might help others, but it will no longer be by me flying to third world countries and building houses for them. I will still have a family, but perhaps I won't be the "supermom" I always imagined I would be. I can still have a career, I can still go to school... it is just going to be much different from the dreams that I had as a little girl.

To help others, I will simply be there for them in their need. I will listen, give advice if they ask, open my arms, my home, my heart to those who need. I will love every person I meet, and try to make sure they feel that. I will still serve, but it will be quietly and simply.

As a mother, I may not be able to do everything at once. There will be many days that I am so exhausted that I will feel like crying all day and collapse on the bed when its over - only to be woken up by a crying child a little later. But, I will still be a mother. And I will love my children with all my soul. I will teach them, I will serve them. I may not make 3 delicious meals a day (like my amazing mother), but they will know that I love them, they will know that God loves them, and they will know that they can love others.

I may not have a successful career like I thought, but I can still be productive - do things that will help others around me, and perhaps my career will be something different than I ever thought.

I will still do the things that matter. I will still pray, read the scriptures, go to the temple, accept callings, and do my best every day. Even with frequent naps, illnesses, or headaches, I will simply have to find the time to do what matters most to me - and what matters most to God.

This is a different life than I had planned. But it can still be beautiful.